Remembering Names and What to Do When You Forget

By Judith Bowman, author of "Don't Take the Last Donut: New Rules of Business Etiquette"

Remembering names is a challenge for many; therefore, most of us need to work a bit harder at being more proficient. Most people tend to forget names because, typically, we are thinking about what we are going to say, rather than listening and concentrating.

Try this exercise: As soon as someone makes an introduction, either a self-introduction or paving the way for another, use the person's name immediately and say, "Dr. Doyle. It is a pleasure meeting you, Dr. Doyle." Do this with each person you meet.

Next, look closely at this individual. Make an association, perhaps with another person you may know with the same name. Then, make a visual association; visualize him or her as the person with the white teeth or who wears pearls. Ask him to say or pronounce his name again, particularly if he has a challenging or unusual name. In a business situation, ask for a business card. Look at the card, then back at the individual and make another visual association with the individual and his name. Finally, say the person's name again and use it frequently in conversation, which will also make him feel special.
People like to hear the sound of their own names. Think about it -- when we hear our name, we perk up, right? You are also sending a message to this individual that you care enough to remember his name, which is a positive reflection on you, personally and professionally. The business tie-in is, what else do you take the time for, go to the trouble of, make the effort to learn about (in advance)? Bottom-line: I trust you; I want to do business with you; I want you to represent my firm.

What to do when you forget a name?

Here are seven steps to take when you forget someone's name.

1. Confess
"What's your name again?" would not be appropriate. Try something like, "I am so sorry, I have completely blanked on your name." This said, with sincerity, is appropriate and speaks volumes about you while also demonstrating your genuine interest in knowing who she is and remembering her. As always, it is not what you say, but how you say it.

2. Ask 'What is your full name?'
The person will respond saying his first and last name. At which point you might say, "Yes, I knew it was 'Bill,' but 'Bill Flynn'"; now you have both.

3. Go to a respected third party
Ask, "What is the name of the woman in the blue dress?" You may then approach her, greet her by name and be a hero, suggesting you remembered her name.

4. Ask for a business card or calling card.
Take this opportunity to make yet another visual association.

5. Ask him to spell his name.
Be careful here. He could say, "J-O-N-E-S. In other words, exactly the way it sounds." This can happen from time to time. It's OK. Others understand and appreciate your effort in trying to know their name.

6. Introduce yourself.
Approach the other person and say your name, first and last. In business, we should all be conditioned so that when we hear another person say her name, we respond by saying our name, slowly and clearly, so it can be understood and remembered.

7. The 'setup'
Sending over a trusted friend, colleague or spouse to introduce himself so the individual in question will respond by saying his name is frequently done and is effective. The person who designed this "setup" is then free to confidently approach the person, calling him by name.

Finally, knowing that most of us are challenged remembering names, it is everyone's responsibility to be aware of this situation. Recognize the opportunity to help others when it comes to remembering names and using them for introductions and in conversation, which makes others feel valued and special. Everyone's help and participation in making the name game seamless is not only appropriate, but required in order to be an active participant at any event. It will go a long way in terms of being noticed and appreciated.

Faux pas
Be sure to avoid these common faux pas when remembering someone's name.

1. Assuming the familiar
Calling someone by her first name without being invited can be detrimental. Err on the side of being more conservative and ask, "How do you prefer to be addressed?" It is an expression and a gesture -- always acceptable and appreciated and never wrong.

2. Assuming that 'Suzanne Smith' prefers to be called 'Suzie' or that 'Cristiana Jones' prefers to be called 'Christy.'
Once again, "How do you prefer to be addressed?" helps you to earn the right to advance and learn that Elizabeth Jones prefers to be called "Lizzy" or Dr. Jones.

5 Ways to Get Better Compensation

By Anthony Balderrama

As you're undoubtedly aware, businesses are operating with caution these days and watching their bottom lines more closely than ever. Accordingly, employees are feeling the pinch. Expect lean operations to continue for a while longer, but don't assume you have no chance of receiving a salary boost.

Whether you're already employed or negotiating a job offer, all hope for bumping up your compensation is not lost. With the right amount of flexibility and good timing, you can end up getting what you want.

Prove your worth
Don't expect to earn a hefty paycheck based on your merits if you have no proof of your accomplishments. Specificity is the best friend of job seekers and employees. When budgets are already tight, employers won't be willing to hand out more cash than necessary. Businesses are always trying to do more with less, but these days they are forced to.

If you're already employed, your boss might not notice your accomplishments. Smooth operations mean no hiccups or need for finger-pointing; therefore your good work might go unnoticed. You should be able to list specific achievements during your time at the company to be a reminder of your accomplishments. Did you increase sales, make operations more efficient or receive positive feedback from clients? If so, have proof and use it. Quantifiable numbers and direct quotes make a better case than pretty phrases.

For job seekers, the story is the same, except your highlights should span your career. A strong track record throughout your work history gives a hiring manager good reason to expect more from you ... and do more for you.

Know the market
Although you might think you're worth a seven-figure salary, your boss isn't likely to agree, so don't walk into negotiations thinking you can start at $1 million in order to negotiate your way to an $80,000 salary. Your boss probably knows how much other workers in similar positions earn and so should you. Go to salary sites, such as SalaryExpert. com, and see what the standard rate is for your job title in your city or across the country. Putting your salary in context gives you realistic expectations and helps you bargain effectively.

Ask for a six-month review
Sometimes, getting more money right now is not an option. Your boss or hiring manager might not have the authority to negotiate higher salaries for anyone if the budget is frozen. In that case, you can ask to revisit the topic in six months when the company's financial situation could be better.

The other advantage of having a review down the road is that you have six months (or however long) to make good on your promises. All those specific achievements you highlighted are good talk, but this is your last chance to put your words into action. As frustrating as working hard with no financial bonus can be, stay motivated by the idea that you might get an even better reward at the review.

Ask at the right time
Even if you know your worth and have the facts to prove it, you won't get any more money if you don't ask for it. If the company's in the middle of a financial crisis and half of your department's been laid off, however, you might want to wait awhile. Ask at the wrong time and not only will you not receive more money, but your boss will wonder if you're paying attention to your surroundings or if you even care about the company's welfare. If you work in an industry that's still booming and your company's thriving, then you can broach the subject.

Think outside the box
Bosses love to challenge their employees to "think outside the box." When you're looking to stretch your paycheck this year, don't forget the nonmonetary perks. Frozen company budgets might not thaw much this year or at least not for a few more months, so why not negotiate other benefits?

Employers might be willing to offer more vacation time, flexible work hours or the ability to work from home now and then. Logging on to your computer from home means you're still doing your work, but you didn't pay a dime in transportation or lose any time commuting. The numbers on your paycheck might not change, but how you spend those dollars and hours can improve.