Sense of Belonging

By: Eileen Rachman & Sylvina Savitri

In a meeting at the client company, there was tension of losses that can not be inevitable. Sue customers, while companies have to spend a lot of money when his pass. We feel no responsibility in the hands of one hundred percent personal or division, everyone was silent, did not take the initiative to take risks. No one tried to take control of what is essentially a mutual accountability.

At times like this, then felt that often there is the burden of responsibility for a larger and broader in front of the eye. We have a choice: Will it be silent when the company threatened? Does the company during the crisis, we just want to be a component or stand in front? Are the men of corruption, there appears superiors and recognized it as her fault less supervision? Is the event of the collapse of the bridge, there are officials who do not just make excuses and explanations, but imply guilt? Strength chose to enlarge the burden of responsibility and accountability to expand this coverage is often mentioned as the 'sense of belonging' or 'sense of belonging'.

Testing the sense of belonging

'The sense of belonging' can be felt and tested in many situations. Through campaigns and groups who have common sense and thinking for example, we see a gang of people supported the action: "I'm proud to be one of Indonesia". In the company, to increase efficiency and productivity, lots of loud parties in meetings and brainstorming about solutions, innovations, policy and ways for teams and companies to remain competitive. This is the expression of a sense of belonging. However, the sense of having a more distant, it is tested if the errors, losses, big risk also "owned" in a concrete individual, in the form of action.

Slogans need to be tested with the reality of how we direct sleeves to help victims of disasters without much analysis and comment. In the company's financial situation is tight, what our reaction time and facilities trimmed salary cut? We need to make sacrifices, such as budgetary units cut, trimmed facilities, sometimes out the statement: 'Why did I?'. Individuals who have good ownership, it would have spontaneously said: 'If not me, who else? "This is where the greatness of soul, courage will be reflected in the automated accountability, without thinking.

Should Blame Weather?

A company that is promoting the leadership program, complained logjam employee development programs. We discussed the root of the problem, many employees say that the leadership of a dominant firm, intelligent, observant but not much protecting the one who caused the bad situation. Flood of complaints and even a bit cynical comment-less directed to the leadership of the company, eventually an adverse impact on their own individual development. By focusing on the bad situation, the control center within the individual delayed. Individuals quickly feel helpless. As a result, the motor that moves away to feel the 'sense of urgency' and the ambition to become better, paralyzed.

We do not blame the weather, reading the 'wind' and kissed the atmosphere, but the driving force within us as individuals we need to turn on us even optimize to avoid wear. Find a scapegoat in a work situation or in a conjugal relationship, just close our chances to develop themselves in the long run.

Confessing One, rather than admit defeat

When Alan Greenspan urged the U.S. Congress and directly asked: "Are you guilty?" Of the global crisis, he replied: "Yes, some of it". We'll see how pamornya that for years admired the world because their thoughts are bright, vanished because the answer is as if trying not to allocate fault wider than kongkritnya action. Let's say a big name like that can take responsibility and assume that the crisis is largely his fault, precisely the world will have more sympathy and respect. Recognition of personal fault or negligence, not a sudden drop fame, could even be an act of chivalry that can build credibility, trust and can carry a team to take corrective action themselves together. Sense of belonging not only felt if the institution or the State are safe, but just when someone chooses to go forward and say: "It was my fault".

Plead guilty, sometimes heavy as if conceding defeat. However, plead guilty badang pairs, in fact very closely connected with the 'sense of belonging' which is often touted people. We'll see how many leaders or former leaders vying to claim the success that he made in his time, but the responsibilities throwing each other when raised about the policy mistakes or decisions that he made.

If someone can admit mistakes, he will automatically put more effort into taking action on issues that are in 'scope', more freely allocate repair and replace the direction for further success. Of course the apology is not to be expected without appreciation, without sincerity, or even as a means to avoid the opening of a deeper fault. An apology, especially those out of a leader is the practice of evidence or reasoning. Opened with a statement of recognition of their responsibilities, a leader actually easier to manage the risk, open-minded people around, opening a deeper discussion, open and honest for the sake of "corrective actions".

Translated from: http://jobs.experd.com/articles/page/157/

Other Articles :

1. Saying NO to Your Boss
2. Is it Time to Quit?
3. 5 Ways to Get Better Compensation
4. 7 Worst Career Mistakes You Can Make
5. Remembering Names and What to Do When You Forget

10 Careers to Avoid Boredom

By Rachel Zupek

No matter where you are, boredom is one of the worst things ever. But, arguably, the worst place you can be bored is at work.

Boredom at work is the result of several things. Maybe your company is scaling back on hiring and, maybe, your responsibilities. Maybe you're an entry-level worker and your boss doesn't trust you enough yet to give you actual work. Or maybe your job is just tedious and you're totally uninterested in your tasks.

Whatever the reason, it's time to make a change. When you spend 40-plus hours doing mind-numbing work, you're bound to be miserable.

If you're looking for work that is anything but dull, check out these 10 careers that are sure to keep you on your toes.

1. Airline attendant
It's hard to be bored when you're a jet-setter, don't you think? Flight attendants are constantly on the move, working around the clock, year round and on nights, weekends and holidays, traveling to various places. During their working hours, they ensure that passengers follow safety and security regulations, while doing their best to guarantee travelers a comfortable flight. It seems that the only down time they have is during takeoff, landing and on their days off -- when a little boredom might be welcome.
Salary: $63,913/year

2. Buyer
Anyone who specializes in retail therapy can tell you, shopping is not boring. In all seriousness, buyers essentially shop for living, picking out what clothes are in demand, in style, determining what will sell and figuring out the amount of product their establishments should have in stock. To be successful, buyers must be on the pulse of fashion, keeping up with latest trends, competitor pricing, sales levels and consumer buying patterns.
Salary: $58,407/year

3. Event planner
Some call it stressful, others call it energizing, but no one calls it boring. Event planners are always on the go, dealing with several people, operations and vendors at the same time. They work under strict deadlines, travel to event sites, attend endless meetings and work long days and weekends. Event planners are usually arranging more than one event at time, which means they do all of these things times two (or three, maybe four).
Salary: $76,374/year

4. Food and beverage server
I was a server for a few years in college and while I admit that there were some slow days at work, for the most part, I was constantly busy. The key to not being bored as a server is finding a popular bar or restaurant, engaging with customers and working on days when you know you'll be busy, like weekends, game days or holidays. Running food and drinks from table to table, closing out tabs, dealing with complaints, cleaning up after patrons -- it never ends.
Salary: $19,013/year

5. Futurist
Although this career is uncommon, it's perfect for anyone who likes variety, research and curiosity. What do they do exactly? Futurists examine the present for clues to changes that the future may bring. Usually, they work as consultants to companies to help them foresee possible business changes and adjust accordingly. They are constantly researching reports, statistics, trends and other predictors to help them forecast different paths the future could take.
Salary: $98,603/year (consultant)

6. Nonprofit fundraiser
Fundraisers for nonprofit organizations have the daunting task of finding money and gifts to keep an association thriving. After all, just because nonprofits don't make money doesn't mean they don't have expenses. Fundraisers look for capital contributions and endowments, and plan events to help garner donations for a cause. Raising money is the difference between the organization' s ability to start new projects and continue existing ones, so it's essential they are on top of things.
Salary: $68,145/year

7. Journalist
As a general rule, reporters and broadcasters eat, breathe and sleep the news -- and as any journalist will tell you, the news never sleeps. Whether they're following a lead, reporting breaking news or are operating under a tight deadline, journalists must be ready for anything at a moment's notice.
Salary: $48,206/year (reporter); $40,510 (news broadcaster)

8. Casino worker
Most casinos are open 24 hours, seven days a week, which means there is always work to be done. Whether you're a gaming dealer, slot key personnel, a security guard or a manager, you are constantly dealing with someone or something, which leaves minimal down time.
Salary: Various

9. Registered nurse
Health-care positions in general are always go, go, go; but nurses might take the cake. Often caring for several patients at the same time, RNs are frequently running from room to room, administering medications, answering call buttons, talking to families, making patients comfortable, updating charts and attending to the various needs of doctors, patients and families.
Salary: $66,427/year

10. Public relations manager
Public relations managers specialize in protecting and promoting their client's image or brand. Anything that is written, broadcasted or published about an organization must go through the PR team, as do any scheduled appearances or interviews. They are responsible for making sure their client's name stays reputable; putting out fires (so to speak); issuing statements when necessary; drafting press releases; pitching their client to media outlets and so much more.
Salary: $89,683/year

Make a Bad Job Good for You: Four Tips

By Kate Lorenz

If you're like most professionals, you had to go through some trial and error to get to a job that was right for you. Most of us have had at least one really rotten job in our careers and many may still be complaining about a current bad situation. But successful professionals learn how to turn lousy situations into opportunities. The following tips can help you make lemonade out of the career "lemons" you have been handed.

1. Think outside your cubicle.

Mark Mehler is one of the founders of CareerXroads, a recruiting technology and consulting firm. Mehler says that often a person with a bad job is unhappy with the position and not necessarily the company. If your work problems stem from personality conflicts or issues isolated to your position, don't throw the baby out with the bath water. Mehler suggests investigating other options within your company. "Find your niche rather than just giving up," he says. He suggests using your time at the company to network with executives, find a mentor and learn about other departments with the intent that you can transfer into a better position.

2. Take what you need.

Every job, no matter what it is, gives you something very important: experience. Don't write off the job as a situation that has nothing to offer. "Use it as a stepping stone, even if it is a bad job," Mehler says. The trick is to look at this experience in the right way. "You need to look at what skills you are learning or what's around you to enrich your job," he says. For example, you may just be answering phones and running errands all day, but this means that you are gaining valuable communication and organizational skills. You'll be able to beef up your résumé and be more valuable to a potential employer.

3. Take note of what you do not like.

One of the best things you can know when you are searching for a job is what you do not want. Yes, you might be working for the boss from hell, but the struggle will teach you what to stay away from the next time. If you're employed by a company with questionable practices, you will learn how to better choose an employer. Or, you also might learn what job descriptions to avoid. You may want to run screaming from your nightmare, but don't do it without knowing what makes the job so bad.

4. Take advantage of opportunities only available in the workplace.

Many companies offer training classes, seminars and other professional development opportunities to employees. Take advantage of these career boosters. Mehler says you should try to learn additional skills to enhance the job you're in and the job you hope to get. Sign up for company-sponsored training sessions and courses and ask for more responsibility to learn new skills. "Try to expand on the things you want to do and like to do," Mehler says. The key is to not sit around waiting for opportunities to find you. "Go get what you want," he says.

The bottom line is that every situation is what you make of it, Mehler asserts. You can choose to go to work every day and wait for a better opportunity, or you can proactively learn from the experience.

When to Disobey the Boss

By Eve Tahmincioglu

Recently, the manager of an Abercrombie & Fitch store in Virginia Beach decided to keep, what some deemed, risqué photos of models hung up on his store walls even though local police told him to take the pictures down.

Why didn’t he listen to the cops? Because the manager’s corporate bosses asked him to display the photos.

The manager ended up with a citation by the local authorities and faced possible jail time and a fine.

While the charges were eventually dropped, this event serves as a great lesson for all employees out there. You don’t have to do everything your boss tells you to, especially if it runs afoul of the law.

Clearly, breaking the law can get you in real trouble, but blindly following orders and engaging in illegal or unethical activities on the job can wreak havoc on your career and possibly hurt other people.

Take Barbara, a Denver-based senior underwriter for a major mortgage company.

Over a two year period, she was asked by her manager to sign off on home loans for individuals that she knew were not worthy of loans because of their questionable credit and employment backgrounds.

“I determined that the information these people provided wasn’t accurate, or questionable but my manager would say, ‘let it go,’” says Barbara, who declined to use her full name.

After months of doing what she felt in her gut wasn’t right, she became depressed as she began to hear about people who were losing their homes because of loan defaults.

So, this past fall, she decided to take a stand and wrote a letter to the company’s human resource department even though she thought she was jeopardizing her job. "I couldn't take it anymore," she explained, still a hint of agony in her voice.

The real estate industry, says Ralph R. Roberts, author of “Protect Yourself from Real Estate and Mortgage Fraud,” is rife with these types of scenarios that began with the housing boom and have only gotten worse as management at many of these firms become desperate to get business in a housing slump.

But it’s not just real estate.

Workers in a host of sectors are feeling pressure to compromise their ethics standards, or break the law, according to Patricia Harned, president of the Ethics Resource Center, an independent research organization. Among the top industries where this is seen are entertainment, hotel and food services, transportation, retail, and healthcare, just to name a few.

“There is no question that supervisors and management have a tremendous amount of influence on employees’ decisions on how they handle tough situations,” Harned says.

Overall, about 10 percent of employees report they feel pressured to compromise their standards in order to do their jobs, and of those 69 percent say the pressure is coming for their immediate supervisor, Harned notes.

“We have certainly seen this situation getting worse as far as the number of instances where employees are seeing misconduct happening around them and feeling pressure to compromise standards themselves. It is on the rise and very worrisome,” she explains.

Difficult economic times, she adds, are contributing to the increase. “There is a lot of pressure to increase profits, keep the company going. Workers want to bring value to the company and do well in their jobs.”

Typically, in a large organization, when serious wrongdoing occurs, at least ten to 15 people are probably involved or know what’s going on, says Richard Cellini of Integrity Interactive, a company that provides businesses with ethics policy tools.

“Someone sets it in motion, usually someone with authority, but they don’t do the work themselves. They pass it on. The people who do it are usually the staff. They do what they’re told,” he explains.

In most cases, he adds, workers are doing bad things for what they deem are good reasons – to help the company, help the team, etc. “And in the overwhelming majority of cases, they are either responding directly to a request from a boss, or what they think their boss wants them to do,” he says.

But workers who engage in illegal activity are going to have a weak leg to stand on when law enforcement comes a knocking. “My boss made me do it,” is a defense that doesn’t tend to hold up in court, legal experts say.

“It’s like the Nuremberg defense,” says Nancy Cornish, an employment lawyer with Denver-based Kissinger & Fellman, referring to the “only following orders” legal defense used by some of the Nazi officers who were tried by the Allies in Nuremberg, Germany, after World War II.

The question is, she explains, if you’re acting within the scope of your job duties but you do something illegal, who is liable, you or your employer? Unfortunately, in many cases, the employee can be liable, she says.

“When a bouncer assaults a patron on instructions from the club owner the prosecutor is going to tell the bouncer, ‘I don’t care,’’ she points out. “If a pizza delivery guy goes down a residential street at 80 miles an hour should he get a ticket,” she asks, even though his boss tells him to speed in order to expedite deliveries? “Yes,” she notes.

In one case, Cornish’s client, a trucking company, sent a delivery man to a neighborhood early in the morning to make a drop off, but the community restricted morning deliveries. The truck driver ended up with a ticket.

While the trucking firm took care of the situation for its employee, she says, the driver in this case would have ended up holding the bag if his employer hadn’t stepped in.

If you refuse to do something illegal, and you’re fired or demoted because you report it to HR or law enforcement, you’ll likely be protected under whistle blower laws. But claiming after the fact, when the authorities start rounding up the parties involved, that you were told to do it but didn’t want to probably won’t hold up in court.

“An employee can’t disagree in silence with the practice,” says Jon Meer, chair of the Employment and Labor Group for DLA Piper US in Los Angeles.

Bottom line, says Barbara Repa, author of “Your Rights in the Workplace”, “no one gets to break the law, and you don’t get to hide behind the skirts of employers.”

When you’re being asked to do something that just doesn’t feel right, Repa suggests you talk to your supervisor about it. If, however, you believe your job could be at risk by talking to your boss, go above his or her head and find someone you trust who has integrity, or go to your human resources department.

You can also go to local authorities, and under whistleblower laws have your identity remain anonymous.

Depending on what the illegal activity is, there are a variety of government agencies you can go to, Repa says. If it involves a work safety issue you should contact OSHA. If it’s an issue of discrimination you can contact the EEOC. If it’s something that could put someone in harm’s way, or involves fraud, local police, or the FBI or the SEC might be the best avenue.

Barbara, the underwriter from Colorado, went to her HR department and the company launched an investigation. The manager that asked her to sign off on bad loans was subsequently fired, and new policies were implemented to prevent similar situations.

Looking back, she says, she would have reported the problem earlier.

“We are so overwhelmed trying to meet our own financial requirements for our kids and our families, that we tend to go along with employers,” she says. “You have a right to say ‘no’. I should have pushed back right away.”

Optimism: The Hidden Asset

By Bruna Martinuzzi

Among the topics that young people study before they enter the workforce is calculus, the mathematics of change and motion. While training in calculus is undoubtedly valuable, I believe that training in optimism is also important. Just as it is good discipline to solve problems like the velocity of a car at a certain moment in time, it is also crucial to figure out what drives people to give us the very best that they have to offer. Ironically, Leibniz, one of the inventors of calculus, is also known for his philosophy of optimism. He was considered to be an inveterate optimist, asserting that we live "in the best of all possible worlds". Optimism is an emotional competence that can help boost productivity, enhance employee morale, overcome conflict and have a positive impact on the bottom line.

In writing about optimism, you face the danger of being seen as advocating a "Pollyanna" or quixotic approach. The truth is, however, optimism has been proven to be a powerful tool that will pay dividends for your personal life and give you a competitive advantage professionally in your career. There is a lot to be gained, indeed, in cultivating an optimistic outlook.

Take leadership, for example. Nowhere is optimism more important than in leading organizations. Highly effective leaders have a transforming effect on their constituents: they have the gift of being able to convince others that they have the ability to achieve levels of performance beyond those they thought possible. They are able to paint an optimistic and attainable view of the future for their followers: They move others from being stuck with "how things are done around here" and help them see "how things could be done better". In The Leadership Advantage, an essay from the Drucker Foundation's Leader to Leader Guide, Warren Bennis tells us that optimism is one of the key things people need from their leaders in order to achieve positive results. Every "exemplary leader that I have met," writes Bennis, "has what seems to be an unwarranted degree of optimism - and that helps generate the energy and commitment necessary to achieve results."

Consider, as well, the reverse: the effect that pessimistic individuals can have on an organization's creativity and innovation. To be innovative, you need to be open to new ideas, wide open to seeing possibilities, willing to take risks and encourage others to take risks - willing to challenge the process in order to create new solutions or products or improve processes. In short, you need to have a sense of adventure and an expectation of success. Those who have a pessimistic outlook typically approach changes to the status quo with the familiar: "We tried this before", "It won't work", or "It will never fly". Such individuals often label themselves as "devil's advocate". How can someone who has a pessimistic outlook embrace change over the safety of the known?

There are other areas which are impacted positively by optimism. Take sales, for example: A study shows that new sales personnel at Metropolitan Life who scored high on a test on optimism sold 37 percent more life insurance in their first two years than pessimists (Seligman, 1990). In another study involving debt collectors in a large collection agency, the most successful collectors had significantly higher scores in the area of self-actualization, independence and optimism. (Bachman et al, 2000, cited by Cary Cherniss.)

Perhaps more significant are the countless studies that have shown that people with an optimistic outlook have healthier relationships, enjoy better mental and physical health and live longer. In The Wisdom of the Ego, Dr George E Vaillant, Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, writes about individuals who have "both the capacity to be bent without breaking and the capacity, once bent, to spring back". Vaillant mentions that, in addition to external sources of resilience (such as good health or social supports), these individuals have important internal sources which include a healthy self-esteem and optimism.

These coping mechanisms are fully explored in Dr Valliant's subsequent book: Aging Well: Surprising Guideposts to a Happier Life, a truly fascinating study that will be particularly interesting to fellow boomers. This is a compendium of three studies involving over 800 individuals, men and women, rich and poor, who were followed for more than 50 years, from adolescence to old age. In it, we discover that one of the most powerful predictors of successful aging is habitually using mature coping mechanisms or defenses, what Vaillant calls the ability to "make lemonade out of life's lemons." Vaillant's study discovered five of these coping mechanisms: Altruism (doing for others what they need, not what we want to do for them); Sublimation (diverting energy to more constructive pursuits such as creativity, art, sports); Suppression (postponement of stressors, not repression); Humor and anticipation. Anticipation is realistic, hopeful planning for the future. This means not operating in a pessimistic crisis mode but preparing and adapting for whatever life brings.

So how do you recognize an optimist? Alan Loy McGinnis, author of The Power of Optimism, studied the biographies of over 1000 famous people, and isolated 12 characteristics of the optimistic personality. Among these is: "Optimists look for partial solutions", that is, freed from the tyranny of perfectionism and from paralysis by analysis, they are open to taking small steps towards achieving success. Another characteristic of those who have an optimistic nature is: "Optimists use their imagination to rehearse success", in other words, they play positive mental videos of preferred outcomes, much like sports figures do. Michael Jordan, for example, once stated that he never plays a game that he hasn't first visualized. Another trait is that "Optimists think that they have great capacity for stretching" - they believe that their personal best is yet to come.

Dr Martin E Seligman, the modern scholar most often associated with studying the traits of optimists, and former president of the American Psychological Association and Professor of Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, has devoted decades to studying optimistic people and reports three traits that they have in common: They view adversity in their lives as temporary, specific and external, that is, not entirely their fault, as opposed to pessimists who view adversity as unchangeable, pervasive, and more personal. In the face of setbacks, challenges or difficult jobs, pessimist are more likely to do worse than predicted and even give up, while optimists will persevere. Optimism, therefore, is also an important component of achievement, and is especially important in times of chaos, change and turbulence. Those who have an optimistic outlook will roll with the punches, will be more proactive and persistent and will not abandon hope.

So, where does optimism come from? Is it something we are born with or is it learned? For some lucky individuals, being optimistic comes naturally. The good news is that, for those who don't have it naturally, optimism is an attitude that can be learned and practiced. Here are some strategies you can consider in your journey to becoming more optimistic or in helping someone else who suffers from pessimism:

1. Avoid negative environments. If this is not realistic, make every effort to seek the company of positive individuals in your organization. Sometimes this may mean fraternizing with peers in other departments. Stay away from the professional complainer.

2. Celebrate your strengths. The key to high achievement and happiness is to play out your strengths, not correct your weaknesses. Focus on what you do well. (If you are not sure what your signature strengths are, consider reading Now Discover Your Strengths which includes a web-based questionnaire that helps you discover your own top-five inborn talents.)

3. Take care of your spiritual and emotional well being by reading inspirational material on a daily basis. This may be different for each person. Some may be inspired by daily quotations, others by reading biographies of successful people in their field and yet others may derive inspiration from reading about all the innovations that we are graced with. A useful website for this is the World Future Society, which keeps up with new inventions.

4. Manage or ignore what you cannot change. When faced with setbacks, identify what you can change and proactively try to find ways to do something about it. We have often heard this advice - it bears repeating. Be inspired by Benjamin Franklin's words: "While we may not be able to control all that happens to us, we can control what happens inside us."

5. Learn to reframe. This involved deliberately shifting perspective and looking for the hidden positive in a negative situation: the proverbial silver lining. Look for the gift in the adversity.

If you are serious about developing greater optimism, there is no better book than Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life by Dr Martin E Seligman. Learn Dr Seligman's ABCDE model for disputing pessimistic thoughts. This is a very useful and powerful tool to help you change the way you explain events that trouble you from pessimistic to optimistic.

6. Adapt your language and outlook. Consider how a simple shift in the language you use can make a difference in your outlook: Do you frequently say: "yes, but...." in response to your constituents' suggestions? The "but" automatically negates anything you have said in the beginning part of the sentence. A simple shift to "yes, and..." might make a positive difference. Check the emails you have sent recently. Count the proportion of negative to positive words. It could be enlightening.

Become aware of your stance in business meetings. Are you known as the "devil's advocate", the one who is quick to shoot down others' ideas? Jumping in too quickly to negate an idea can derail the creative process. Often valuable ideas are the result of an initial "crazy" thought. At meetings, even when we don't have the floor, we are under a magnifying glass. Practice being more upbeat, practice speaking last, and see what happens.

7. Focus outside yourself, on important people in your life, on pursuits and projects that fire you up. Bertrand Russell once said that the quickest way to make ourselves miserable is to continually focus on ourselves. It was his love of mathematics that kept him going.

8. Nurture a culture of optimism when you are in charge of other people at work. Expect people to succeed. Even when they occasionally fail to achieve what they set out to do, encourage them so that they can tackle the next challenge. A simple: "I know you'll do better the next time" can have very positive effects.

9. Cultivate spontaneity. Consider putting aside all your plans once in a while to take a walk with your kids, play a game or catch a show. Getting out of your comfort zone by being spontaneous helps to develop your optimistic muscle, as spontaneity essentially involves an expectation of having a pleasurable experience.

10. Consider the health benefits. If you need an extra motivation for practicing optimism, consider the statistics linking optimism to greater health. As Dr Seligman explains, there is evidence to believe that immune systems among optimistic people are stronger than among pessimists.

This paper would not be balanced if we did not address the benefits of pessimism. Pessimists, as Seligman explains, may be more realistic and accurate about dangers and risks. At times, when there is a risk of serious negative consequences, a cautious, risk-avoiding evaluation is appropriate and desirable. But the positive effects of being optimistic - fighting depression, aiding in professional, academic and sports achievement, and boosting mental and physical health - outweigh the benefits of being a career pessimist. The answer then is, as Seligman explains, "flexible optimism", i.e. having the wisdom to assess situations and identify those that require a pessimistic inquisition, and those that call for optimism, for having a "can do" attitude" and taking a chance. Winston Churchill had a reason for saying: "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." Practice seeing the opportunity.

Copyright © 2006 Bruna Martinuzzi. All Rights Reserved.

Are You Driving Your Boss Crazy?

Eight Behaviors Bosses Dislike

By Robert Half International

In today's workplace, it goes without saying that it's a good idea to remain on the boss's good side. Your relationship with this person can be a major factor in not only your on-the-job happiness but also your career success. And your boss can be a powerful ally; having a manager who thinks highly of you may improve your job security since you'll have someone who is willing to defend your value to the firm should layoffs occur. So, the last thing you want to do is exhibit behaviors that undermine this relationship.

Unfortunately, your manager may not always tell you if your behavior is driving him or her nuts. Here are eight actions to avoid:

1. Turning down new assignments.
Your supervisor comes to you to say that you'd be the ideal person to mentor a new staff member. She wants to know if you have the time to take on this task. You do, but you're not interested in the responsibility, so you decline the offer. Bad move. It's unwise to build a reputation as someone your boss can't count on. Plus, it's a good rule of thumb to accommodate your boss's wishes, as long as you have room on your plate for the extra work. A pattern of "no's" can convince your manager to stop offering you opportunities, including ones you might be interested in.

2. Being "high-maintenance. "
Do you require constant feedback or positive reinforcement to remain productive? Must you check in with your boss every hour to ensure you're on the right track? This constant need for attention may prevent your manager from attending to important tasks or getting into a good work flow, which is enough to drive even the most patient professional up the wall.

3. Communicating poorly.
You're working on a high-profile project and just left your supervisor a voice-mail message with a quick progress update. He calls back, asking to be e-mailed the information. And, given the importance of the assignment, more detail would be nice. It's critical you understand your boss's communication preferences and adjust your style accordingly to ensure the two of you remain on the same page. In addition to preferred mode of communication, consider how much -- or how little -- information your manager would like.

4. Asking too many questions.
Everyone knows the saying "In one ear and out the other." Don't embody it when interacting with your manager. Repeatedly asking the same question ("Whom should I follow up with again?") is a sure-fire way to annoy your supervisor. To avoid this situation, always listen carefully when your boss is speaking and try to seek clarification on new projects from the get-go. If you must follow up, be sure to approach your manager with a specific list of questions and take notes so you don't need to bother him or her again.

5. Failing to follow through.
You're rushing to finish a presentation for your boss. After reviewing it, he notes a few typographical errors that you should have caught. To build your manager's confidence, you must think ahead and pay attention to details. As you tackle a project, think about the types of concerns your boss is likely to have, questions he or she may ask, and stumbling blocks that could get in your way. For example, if you're in charge of organizing an important meeting, have you tested the necessary technical equipment ahead of time? Prepared and proofread any handouts? Made arrangements to arrive early so you can set up? Even when things are hectic, keeping a keen eye on every detail is necessary to impress your supervisor.

6. Refusing to admit your mistakes.
Creating an excuse to justify poor performance is dishonest and unprofessional. Plus, chances are your ploy won't stand the test of time. If you make a mistake, step up to the plate; then go further by devising a plan for both correcting and avoiding similar incidents in the future. For example, if you included the wrong subject line in a mass e-mail, set it up with a colleague to review any memos with large distribution lists before hitting Send. Employees who accept ownership demonstrate professionalism, maturity and confidence.

7. Waving the red flag after the ship has sunk.
Your manager has asked you to compile a complicated report by the end of the week. Friday afternoon, you realize you can't finish it in time and break the news to your boss. She's furious! If you had just let her know earlier, she would have been able to provide you with extra resources to complete the project by the deadline. The lesson here: Let your supervisor know as soon as you sense a problem growing. With advanced notice, your manager can often work with you to stave off disaster.
8. Fueling the rumor mill.
Above all, supervisors seek employees with a positive outlook, especially given all of the negative news about today's economy. Enthusiasm is contagious, and these individuals are able to influence the attitudes of others. You don't want to be the one at the water cooler who spreads gossip or complains.

How to De Fang a Toxic Boss

By Richard S. Gallagher

How many people out there hate their bosses? And how many have the luxury of simply voting with their feet, and leaving? Everyone faces a toxic boss at some point in their career and must quickly learn how to de-fang.

Toxic bosses are often energy vampires who drain our morale, creativity and productivity. Ironically, they often feel they are doing the right thing in the process. So when you react to them, you get dragged into a tug-of-war that too often leads to a one-way ticket out the door. It's a lose-lose situation for everyone.

At the same time, the right communications skills can provide a great antidote to these toxic bosses. Here's how:

Learn how your boss sees the world. Does your boss go to bed every night dreaming of new ways to be mean and cruel? If he does, it's time to leave, however, the reality is that most toxic bosses simply have a warped view of managing people. What you see as criticism, they see as "holding people accountable. " What you see as politics, they see as "motivating people to perform." And what you think is pointless nastiness is, in their mind, "avoiding a country-club atmosphere where people slack off."

So how do you learn what's behind their snarkiness? Simple: You ask them. Here are some examples of questions you might use:

- "What would the ideal department look like for you?"

- "What kinds of things frustrate you about our team?"

- "What would be the single biggest thing I could do better this year?"

Validate the boss's view of the world. This part feels like sucking on a lemon for most people, but it is the key to changing your boss's toxic behavior. (When was the last time you responded positively to criticism?) Here you are not out to agree with your boss or "kiss up" to her. Your goal is to make it clear you understand her, so that she will then listen to you. Try these on for size:

Tillie Toxic: "I wish people would stop slacking off and get to work around here."

You: "Good point, it is frustrating when people don't perform like you wish they did."

Peter Picky: "You never do this task right."

You: "I don't want you to settle for less than the best. Let's discuss this."

Does it feel funny to say things like these to a boss who acts like Darth Vader? Of course it does. But when you say them, you accomplish something extremely valuable: You create a safe space to start talking about changing the boss's intimidating ways.

Offer an alternative. Here is where you close in for the kill. Offer your boss what he wants, while presenting him with a neutral, factual way to get there -- by treating you better! Here's one example:

"I want to give you everything you want in the future. At the same time, I find it difficult to do that when I am constantly criticized. It makes it harder for me to do my best. Where could we go from here?"

Now you are in productive dialogue, and can start negotiating a win-win solution as adults. Remember that you have to use facts and not feelings here. Telling your boss to "share performance expectations" or "talk to me first before you criticize my work" is OK, but asking him to "stop being a jerk" is provocative, not to mention unclear.

With the right words, you can often achieve what seems impossible: Get your toxic boss to change, using a painless conversation that never puts him or her on the defensive. In the process, you will gain interpersonal and leadership skills that will stick with you for the rest of your life.

When your boss forgets to be the boss

By anthony balderrama on Sep 29, 2009

I fully admit that I’m not the reality TV junkie that many of my friends and co-workers are. In fact, I can only think of two non-scripted shows I watch. (Well, “non-scripted” is used loosely here.) Regardless, one of those shows I’ve found myself drawn to is The Rachel Zoe Project. Go ahead, judge me. I’ll wait.

OK, the reason I bring this up is because last night’s episode had a good lesson for workers (and employers, too). Let me summarize what’s going on in this show:

Rachel Zoe is a fashion stylist and she has two assistants. Taylor’s been there since the beginning and Brad has only been with her for a year. Taylor and Brad don’t always get along–naturally, because if they did, the show would be boring. Well, Rachel tells Brad and Taylor that their schedule is open and all three of them will be going to Paris Fashion Week, which is basically the Super Bowl of couture. Then some clients need Rachel’s services during that scheduled trip and she has to leave one of the assistants behind. Who will go to Paris? (Insert dramatic stares and camera cuts here.)

Rachel first sends an e-mail to Taylor and Brad telling them what’s going on and that the two of them should figure it out themselves. She secretly wants Brad to say, “Taylor has seniority. I’ll stay; she can go.” Taylor knows this, too. Brad doesn’t do that. Taylor tells Brad what’s going on. He gets mad at Rachel. She sends an e-mail to Taylor saying that she should decide who goes and who stays because she has seniority. Brad’s reaction is what most viewers were probably thinking: Rachel has the most seniority–she’s the boss. Throughout this entire ordeal all three players mention the fact that Rachel has issues with confrontation. She even says that her least favorite part of being the boss is doing the things that a boss has to do.

Ultimately, Taylor decides Brad should go and that she wants to deal directly with Rachel to discuss the issue. Rachel knows it’s all coming. Everyone agrees that Rachel royally messed up and should’ve made the decision and been unafraid of angering her employees. That’s what happens when you’re the boss.

Now, for me and you, the regular people who don’t have our own shows and who don’t have the luxury of worrying about who gets to go to Paris and who has to stay home and deal with celebrities, there are still some valuable work lessons here. Here are some things to do when your boss relegates a little too much responsibility to you:

* Be nice to your co-workers
If your boss wants you and your co-worker to tackle a problem, try to do it. Bickering back and forth and getting passive aggressive won’t advance the situation. It’ll just escalate tension and eventually you’ll end up running to the boss sounding like a whiny baby because the other person was mean to you.

* Think about office politics (sometimes)
I’m not saying you should get involved in the gritty side of workplace politics, but recognize that seniority, tenure and titles play a role in how (many) companies operate. In some cases, deferring to the senior member of the team shows that you respect their time at the company and that you’re cooperative.

* If you are senior, act senior
Pulling rank can often be annoying and unnecessary, but sometimes the boss looks to the second-in-command to step up and show leadership. Take the opportunity and run with it. Acknowledge that your role might be strange for everyone because you’re not the boss. It will diffuse some of the tension while telling everyone that you are embracing the role and will be the decision-maker.

* Politely confront your boss about the issue
If a boss handled a situation in a way that affected daily operations and relationships, you need to address it. Be respectful and remember that he or she is the boss–so preparing a fiery 20-minute speech isn’t the way to go. But feel free to ask to discuss the situation and then explain that the group needed a little more guidance. Use it as an opportunity to step up by saying, “I felt that I should take control because of my seniority, but I didn’t want to appear as though I was undermining your authority.” Or, if you aren’t one of the highest ranking people on the team, tell the boss that there was some confusion and that, “We wanted to be certain that we were staying on track with your goals, but we didn’t know if plans had changed and we were supposed to listen to [so-and-so] instead.” Word it however you want, but while showing respect and not whining, voice your concern. Sometimes bosses are so busy they don’t even realize there was any misunderstanding in their directions.

The whole situation was kind of bananas, to be honest. But it doesn’t have to be if you act like an adult and talk things out.

5 Ways to Get Better Compensation

By Anthony Balderrama

As you're undoubtedly aware, businesses are operating with caution these days and watching their bottom lines more closely than ever. Accordingly, employees are feeling the pinch. Expect lean operations to continue for a while longer, but don't assume you have no chance of receiving a salary boost.

Whether you're already employed or negotiating a job offer, all hope for bumping up your compensation is not lost. With the right amount of flexibility and good timing, you can end up getting what you want.

Prove your worth
Don't expect to earn a hefty paycheck based on your merits if you have no proof of your accomplishments. Specificity is the best friend of job seekers and employees. When budgets are already tight, employers won't be willing to hand out more cash than necessary. Businesses are always trying to do more with less, but these days they are forced to.

If you're already employed, your boss might not notice your accomplishments. Smooth operations mean no hiccups or need for finger-pointing; therefore your good work might go unnoticed. You should be able to list specific achievements during your time at the company to be a reminder of your accomplishments. Did you increase sales, make operations more efficient or receive positive feedback from clients? If so, have proof and use it. Quantifiable numbers and direct quotes make a better case than pretty phrases.

For job seekers, the story is the same, except your highlights should span your career. A strong track record throughout your work history gives a hiring manager good reason to expect more from you ... and do more for you.

Know the market
Although you might think you're worth a seven-figure salary, your boss isn't likely to agree, so don't walk into negotiations thinking you can start at $1 million in order to negotiate your way to an $80,000 salary. Your boss probably knows how much other workers in similar positions earn and so should you. Go to salary sites, such as SalaryExpert. com, and see what the standard rate is for your job title in your city or across the country. Putting your salary in context gives you realistic expectations and helps you bargain effectively.

Ask for a six-month review
Sometimes, getting more money right now is not an option. Your boss or hiring manager might not have the authority to negotiate higher salaries for anyone if the budget is frozen. In that case, you can ask to revisit the topic in six months when the company's financial situation could be better.

The other advantage of having a review down the road is that you have six months (or however long) to make good on your promises. All those specific achievements you highlighted are good talk, but this is your last chance to put your words into action. As frustrating as working hard with no financial bonus can be, stay motivated by the idea that you might get an even better reward at the review.

Ask at the right time
Even if you know your worth and have the facts to prove it, you won't get any more money if you don't ask for it. If the company's in the middle of a financial crisis and half of your department's been laid off, however, you might want to wait awhile. Ask at the wrong time and not only will you not receive more money, but your boss will wonder if you're paying attention to your surroundings or if you even care about the company's welfare. If you work in an industry that's still booming and your company's thriving, then you can broach the subject.

Think outside the box
Bosses love to challenge their employees to "think outside the box." When you're looking to stretch your paycheck this year, don't forget the nonmonetary perks. Frozen company budgets might not thaw much this year or at least not for a few more months, so why not negotiate other benefits?

Employers might be willing to offer more vacation time, flexible work hours or the ability to work from home now and then. Logging on to your computer from home means you're still doing your work, but you didn't pay a dime in transportation or lose any time commuting. The numbers on your paycheck might not change, but how you spend those dollars and hours can improve.

7 Worst Career Mistakes You Can Make

Leadership lessons from the game of tennis

By Jeffrey A. Krames, author "The Unforced Error: Why Some Mangers Get Promoted While Others Get Eliminated"

Tennis and business have a lot more in common than you may think. In 1982, a tennis professional coined the term "unforced error" to describe what happens when one player who is in position to return the ball makes an error by hitting the ball out of the field of play -- or missing the ball altogether. That same kind of error happens all of the time in the business world.

Research shows that even the smartest managers can make the worst career errors. Once again, the same is true in tennis. Even the best players in the world make unforced errors in every match. In professional tennis as in business, the player with the fewest unforced errors usually wins.

Research also shows that at the top levels of corporations, unforced errors have taken a greater toll than ever before. For example, CEO turnover was up 60 percent between 1995 and 2006 and shows no signs of slowing down, according to the consulting firm Booz Allen Hamilton. However, you do not have to be a CEO to make a costly unforced error.

In my career of nearly three decades, I have had a front-row seat to countless numbers of unforced errors in the workplace. Much to my surprise, I have witnessed egregious, stupid errors made by people I regarded as the smartest, most effective of colleagues.

So what kind of tennis mistakes translate to your life and career? Consider the following:

Mistake No. 1: Always playing with a singles mindset
"Playing doubles," alongside a partner, is more realistic than acting like the Lone Ranger who does everything on his own. There are some individuals -- think of them as cowboys -- who have no ability to delegate or work with colleagues. This could be a huge unforced error; given the complexity of today's operating environment, every employee and manager can use all of the help he or she can get.

Mistake No. 2: Not facing reality at all times
Many great tennis players have wasted precious time arguing with referees insisting that the ref's calls were wrong (think John McEnroe and Serena Williams). In business, the same phenomenon occurs all the time. For example, managers cannot come to terms with the fact that their latest new product is a failure and they pour more good money after bad, chasing something that should have been abandoned.

Mistake No. 3: Not taking learning seriously enough
This is another problem that exists in both the tennis and business worlds. In tennis, players need to put in the requisite practice hours to improve their game. John McEnroe says that Ivan Lendl became the incredible champion he did through "sheer rehearsal." In business, one needs to take learning just as seriously. Former GE CEO Jack Welch affirmed that when he said that it is the responsibility of every worker to find a better way of doing things.

Mistake No. 4: Not experimenting on a consistent basis
Celebrated tennis writer W. Timothy Gallwey once said, "Perfect strokes are already within us, waiting to be discovered." Tennis great Billie Jean King explained that champions keep playing until they get it right. In business, a perfect stroke might be a marketing presentation that wins a million-dollar account, or a strategy presentation that helps you to win that elusive promotion.

Mistake No. 5: Not being prepared at all times
Being prepared counts for a lot in business, as it does in tennis. And unlike other traps, this one is entirely within your control. For example, if you go to a meeting and your boss asks you about a project that is your responsibility, can you give her up-to-date-informat ion on the account? Do you know important deadlines? What land mines must you look out for? These are the kinds of things that a manager must be prepared to answer at all times.

Mistake No. 6: Not protecting your flanks
Tennis players need to see and be in command of the total court. Businesspeople need to be in touch with all aspects of the game if they are going to have a good chance of success. Everyone is affected by turf wars and power plays that take place every day in your office. The key, says career expert Dr. Kathleen Reardon, is that if you "choose any two competent people, the one who has political savvy, agility in the use of power, and the ability to influence [others] will go further."
Mistake No. 7: Not taking ownership of your part of the court
Not taking responsibility is another of those tricky unforced errors. The mistake is not in something one does, but in something one doesn't do. So this is an easy mistake to make and one of the more common of unforced errors. While you can't control everything, step up and take more responsibility -- within reason -- whenever you can. If nobody is addressing a problem that you notice or taking advantage of an opportunity that you identify, think about whether you should be doing it yourself.

Saying No to Your Boss

By Rachel Zupek

When you think back to your childhood and your mom said, "We'll see," it was always better than a flat out, "No." Much like "possibly" is sufficient when you ask your boss for time off and "I'll think about it" gives you hope when you ask for a raise.

Though all of these responses are really just a more polite version of "no," they're easier to hear than the actual word itself. While hearing "no" is hard enough, it seems that saying no is even more difficult for some people -- especially when it comes to their boss.

"Most employees avoid saying no to their boss because they fear it will ruin their relationship, cost them their job or appear disrespectful, " says Joseph Grenny, co-author of "Crucial Conversations. " "With the right set of skills, it is possible to be 100 percent candid and respectful when holding this important conversation. "

The reality is, we can't say to yes to everything, so it's essential to position yourself in the best way possible if and when you have to say no at work. The trick, experts say, is not really what you say, but how you say it.

"Many of us won't say the word because we are afraid to, especially in this economy," says Mary Byers, author of "How to Say No ... And Live to Tell About It." "It's easier to say no at work if you don't actually use the word. That way, your boss won't feel like you're being insubordinate. "

Elisabeth Manning, a human potential coach, recalls a time when she was an assistant to the president of a major company. The president wanted to make Manning her marketing manager at the same time -- and the same salary.

Manning, who knew that she would have too much on her plate if she accepted working both jobs, told her boss that she wanted to maximize her capacity for potential at the company and accepting the offer would not be the best, most efficient use of her time.

"I was neutral, not emotional and held my ground," Manning says. "I spoke as if it were already a done deal, without fear."

Here are five situations where you might find yourself needing (and wanting) to say no at work and how you can do so tactfully -- and without losing your job.

How to say no to ...
Your boss assigning you too much work

It can be tough to tell your boss you have a problem with the amount of work he or she is assigning you, but it's possible if you can make your boss feel safe, Grenny says. Start with facts instead of harsh judgments or vague conclusions and let your boss know you care about his interests and respect him, he says.

"Strip out any judgmental or provocative language and be specific," Grenny says. "For example, 'Last week, you gave me two large projects to finish in a very short amount of time and I had to complete these on top of my regular responsibilities. I am afraid my large workload might be affecting the quality of my work.'"

Outrageous demands

If your boss asks you to do something like run his errands or work all weekend and you can't (or don't feel like you should have to), focus on what you can do, says Susan Fletcher, a psychologist, author and speaker.

"The next time your boss asks you to go pick up his or her dry cleaning, instead of saying no, say, 'What I can do is cover your phone calls for you while you are out of the office,'" Fletcher suggests. "Or if your boss asks you to start up a new company initiative, instead of saying no, say, 'What I can do is brainstorm with you on the strategy for the initiative and help get the proper team members in place who can execute the strategy."

Something you honestly can't do

Of course, it's always good to learn new skills, but if you truly believe you aren't the best person for the job, you should say no. Byers suggests responding with something like, "Is there another department where this project might fit better, or someone we can collaborate with?"

"If you know you don't have the necessary time, resources or knowledge for a given project, this is a good way to open dialogue about the best way to get an assignment done," she says.

Unrealistic deadlines

If you frame your response in a way that helps your boss to rethink his request, you'll be OK, says Beth Sears, president of Workplace Communication.

Be aware of your tone of voice and try something like, "I understand your need for this assignment to be completed, but I need some help prioritizing my other work. You requested me to complete 'A' by tomorrow, 'B' by Thursday and 'C' by Friday. This last assignment 'D' would make it impossible to accomplish all of these. How would you prioritize these tasks?" Sears suggests.

Anything illegal, unethical or that crosses personal boundaries

Say no to anything that will you get into trouble if you say yes. Meaning, if something will be detrimental to your career or goes against your integrity, you should always say no.

Jennifer Bergeron, an HR training specialist, recently said no to one of her bosses who asked her to lie to her direct manager.

"I said, 'I'm not comfortable doing that, because the result will be [X, Y and Z]. Please don't ask me to ever lie to someone," Bergeron says. "He said, 'OK, you're right. I didn't realize all that was going on.'"